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Tell your best Joke or one liner
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pfunk



Joined: 09 Aug 2007
Posts: 9
Location: Suburbs of Detroit

PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 5:28 am    Post subject: Tell your best Joke or one liner Reply with quote

From prevuos post
3 guys walk into a bar, the 4th guy ducks
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Rob Harvey



Joined: 24 Dec 2002
Posts: 50
Location: Traverse City, Michigan-USA

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cool Not the best but...........A grasshopper walks into a pub and the bartender says "Hey, do you know there is a drink named after you?" Grasshopper replies. "Really? there's a drink named Stan?!" Smile

Later

Rob Cool
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pfunk



Joined: 09 Aug 2007
Posts: 9
Location: Suburbs of Detroit

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 12:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

good one,

Horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Hey, Why the long face?"
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kat_button



Joined: 29 Aug 2006
Posts: 204
Location: Kirkham

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A vicar, a rabbi, and a priest walk into a bar and the barman says "Is this some kind of joke?"
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More_Power



Joined: 23 Sep 2006
Posts: 125

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
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pfunk



Joined: 09 Aug 2007
Posts: 9
Location: Suburbs of Detroit

PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 9:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chinese couple that own a nice restraunt are getting ready for bed. Well, the ol man gets an idea and starts kissing his wife up and down the back of her neck and wispers in her ear,,,,,,,she turns around and smacks him and yells "69, you fool, you want beef and brockley NOW!!!!"
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rela



Joined: 25 Mar 2007
Posts: 1602
Location: Croatia

PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A black man is walking thru the desert,and the wizard,seeing him all desperate,tells him that he'll give him 3 wishes.1.he says:I want to have water for whole my life.The wizard says ok.2.the man says:I want to be white.The wizard says ok.3.the man says:I want to look at wemens behinds all of my life.The wizard says ok,and turns him into a toilette.
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rela



Joined: 25 Mar 2007
Posts: 1602
Location: Croatia

PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 10:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a black man says to a priest when he walks into the church?
'ey man!
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rela



Joined: 25 Mar 2007
Posts: 1602
Location: Croatia

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rabbit and a bear are walking thrue the forrest.And then,they walk into a geenie bottle,and they rubb it.A geenie flys from it,and says:I've been here for a long time,and you've set me free.I offer you each 3 wishes.
The bear says:I want that the forrest is full of lady bears and that they are all mie.
The rabbit says:I want an bike helmet.
The bear says:I want that whole land is full of lady bears,and that tey are all mine.
The rabbit says:I want a bike.(motorcycle)
The bear says:I want that the whole Earth is full of lady bears,and that I am the only bear,so they can be all mine!
The rabbit says:I want that the bear is gay.
And he rides off on his bike.
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Rob Harvey



Joined: 24 Dec 2002
Posts: 50
Location: Traverse City, Michigan-USA

PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 1:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cool Hey Rela! You are funny. Laughing That was a good one.

Here is an oldie but a goodie.....When is a door not a door? When its ajar. Laughing

Bad I know, but still funny.

Later

Rob Cool
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Drezzal



Joined: 24 Oct 2007
Posts: 18
Location: Ireland

PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 11:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A guy walks into a bar and sees this guy sitting with a 12 inch pianist on the bar table playing songs, he asks the guy "what is that" he says a genie gave me it, do you want a wish" he said "sure". He rubs the genies lamp and says "genie, i want a million bucks!" Next thing you see 1 million deer run through the bar. "the guy said what the hell was that ?!?!?!?" and the other guy said "do you think i asked for a 12 inch pianist!"

Twisted Evil
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Hasepup1980



Joined: 22 Sep 2007
Posts: 3375
Location: GERMAN PAMPA!!!

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 1:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why do so many blond women have bruises around their belly buttons?
Cause blond men are the true idiots! Laughing

What is green and standing in the forrest?
A blue bike! Cool

Why do women get fat asses?
So they can' t fall over when gossipping from inside of the window! Twisted Evil

What do schools and toilet-seats have in common?
You pull somethin' through!

What do men and washing machines have in common?
They spin around when turned on! Embarassed

A frog keeps running around, yelling "I'm a god, I'm a god!"
He meets a rabbit that heard his yelling. The rabbit asks "Why do you think you're a god? You're just a normal green frog!"
And the frog pulls down his pants. (Showing where a frog has his curls)
And the rabbit goes "Oh my god! OOHH MY GOOODDD!!!" Shocked

A man's sitting in the tram, feeling awful. Suddenly he throws up...on another man. The second man yells " You dirty pig!!!!" And the first man says "I'm a pig? Well look at YOU!!!"


I know, they're kinda old but I like them and gave my best to translate them! Laughing
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Hasepup1980



Joined: 22 Sep 2007
Posts: 3375
Location: GERMAN PAMPA!!!

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Viagra song?
Stand by me!

Viagra?
A kind of Extasy for seniors!

Werbespruch von Viagra?
Wir stellen die Weichen!

Since I know Viagra, I know where to put my hat!

Why does the opera diva throw Viagra into the crowd?
She wants standing ovations!

Why should Viagra not be given to 80-year-olds?
Might have a problem closing that coffin!
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Hasepup1980



Joined: 22 Sep 2007
Posts: 3375
Location: GERMAN PAMPA!!!

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A young couple having sex. She's sighing "Give it to me! Tell me dirty stuff!"
The guy answers " Kitchen, bathroom, living room...!" Wink
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Hasepup1980



Joined: 22 Sep 2007
Posts: 3375
Location: GERMAN PAMPA!!!

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Little boy asking his daddy "Daddy, what is a transvestite???"
Daddy answers " I don't know, ask mommy, he'll tell you!"
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