TimAllen.com
 FAQ   Search   Memberlist   Usergroups   Register   Profile   Log in to check your private messages   Log in 

Cutting the Deal

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    TimAllen.com Forum Index -> Men & Women -- Half a Mystery
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
sb
Guest





PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 4:18 am    Post subject: Cutting the Deal Reply with quote

Just curious,

If marriage were a business contract, what items would you insist be agreed upon in the contract (the deal-breakers)? (Do your own damn laundry? Stay within the household budget?)

Having been single all my life, some of the lousy agreements people seem to have signed up for just blow my mind. (Oh well. I guess that is what happens when you are besotted, right?) (That is to say, they don't know what they are signing up for and they don't care at that moment in time!)

It might be nice to have other options beside divorce written into the contract, oh, for example: hefty fines, a caning, community service, scarlet letter, etc.

What do you think a business-like approach might do to marriage? Would it kill the romance? Would it sully the sanctity? Are pre-nups useful in a lot of different ways?

slb
Back to top
jedimastertahl



Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Posts: 32
Location: AZ

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 9:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I read an article once about a couple who signed a pre-nup and one of the things specified was that they agreed to have sex (with each other) at least 3 times every week.

Now, is this a good thing to agree to or not?

Would you want to be forced into having sex because of some stupid piece of paper you signed?

Would you want to have sex with someone who was only doing it to live up to their agreement, not because they really wanted to be with you?

But, on the other hand, who wants to be tied to someone who never wants to at all?

I don't think I believe in pre-nups at all. Relationships should be based on trust. Cliche time.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
adminette



Joined: 10 Jul 2003
Posts: 115
Location: Los Angeles, CA

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 10:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

just a thought but what about someone like Paul McCartney? Where one person goes into the marriage with obscene amounts of money and the other person doesn't really have much? (just using him as an example- but really what about prenups for people with tons and tons of money?)
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
jedimastertahl



Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Posts: 32
Location: AZ

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 10:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is true that a pre-nup would be useful in a case like that.

I just thought the original author of this thread was speaking of us "ordinary" people, lol.

(I am not a celeb, but I am certainly not "ordinary" ha ha)

I guess maybe a person who is very wealthy cannot afford to become "besotted" as ab (sb? sorry I am getting blind as a bat!) put it. Feelings like those might be one of the things they have to give up.

How many of them are marrying us anyway, lol!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
adminette



Joined: 10 Jul 2003
Posts: 115
Location: Los Angeles, CA

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 1:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know I feel like for us "ordinary people" that a prenup almost says "Hey, there's a good chance we are going to split up someday in the near future, so I just want to protect what's mine" It's almost a premonition of sorts. And on the other side of the coin... I feel it's almost ridiculous if you don't get a prenup if you are worth lots and lots of money- because if you love each other and plan to stay together forever, then what's a little signing of a piece of paper hurt? Smile
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
jedimastertahl



Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Posts: 32
Location: AZ

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What you say is so true.

And yet, if by some odd chance a wealthy man should want to marry me, but insist I sign a pre-nup first...I still think I would feel hurt, especially if I loved him very much.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
barbara



Joined: 07 Dec 2002
Posts: 181
Location: Kalamazoo, Michigan

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think in the case where there is alot of money a pre-nup is something you should have. But to have in there how many times you are to have sex a week, now thats going alittle far.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
jedimastertahl



Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Posts: 32
Location: AZ

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 6:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apparently it worked well for the couple that was the subject of the article I was reading, although I would not suggest it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
Bermudagirl



Joined: 10 Mar 2005
Posts: 1532
Location: Austria

PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 11:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry, but I find the comparison of a marriage to business very unhuman.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
LadyWriter



Joined: 03 Jul 2005
Posts: 50

PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 5:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wouldn't a pre-nup show the heart of the person being asked? If someone already has a large bank account, then some part of that person cannot help wonder if the interest is primarily in the person or is it the money. If the relationship is about the person and not the money then signing one should be acceptable and also reassuring.

Even if the money was made during a marriage, I wonder about the spouse that was supportive what should happen for them? How much support allowed the person to earn the living? How much was it within the person to earn that great living?

Confusing to me is choosing the right person in the first place. Is it difficult to say the money is not mine? Doen't it feel better to earn an income?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
SLB



Joined: 15 Mar 2004
Posts: 96
Location: Northeast

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:07 am    Post subject: trust Reply with quote

Bermudagirl wrote:
Sorry, but I find the comparison of a marriage to business very unhuman.


It has to do with trust. We don't trust our fellow humans (at least not any more, -- I understand there was a time when a handshake meant something and a man's word was his bond,) in the business world. We have contracts, warantees, courts, legal entities, civil action suits and Judge Judy. Why should we suddenly trust these same human beings in a marriage? Look at the statistics for divorce! Watch the news about spousal beatings and murders and child abuse. How exactly could marriage prevent the unhumanness that we are capable of? Marriage is an implied contract, it is just an unenforcable one. The law inevitably gets involved during the divorce proceeding, why not involve the law up front?

Marriage=Trust me! Which humans can be trusted and which can't? Who really knows? Times keep changing. Dinosaurs and social mores. Sad, but true.

Still, for some I suppose love=trust. Must it? If there is not absolute trust, is it not really love? Can you love someone and yet still see there are flaws and shortcomings and the potential for disappointment and betrayal? Or is that not really love?

slb
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
linda groff



Joined: 30 Nov 2002
Posts: 34

PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 9:13 am    Post subject: interesting Reply with quote

Thought I'd drop a line or two in...the Paul McCartney public fiasco is one example of pre-nup necessity. (And I'm so sorry that 'old fool' cliche proved itself again...) Still, even for an 'ordinary' person...a widow, widower, divorcee with good income, etc...it sort of gets down to sharing, I think. Is this yours or mine?

I am amazed by the number of young people marrying today who do not have joint accounts. Is this about trust only, do you think? Somehow, I don't. I think there is a great problem today with 'understanding'...having the intellect (wisdom) to truly grasp that you AND me works better than you OR me. It is a very underdeveloped attitude I feel. Reminds me of my children at three...MINE, MINE, MINE!!!! I think what I'm trying to say is either you are a mature adult, or you are not. Mature individuals do not want what is not theirs, and they ultimately desire what is fair for the big picture, on whatever scale that may be.

So, I say its about maturity and wisdom; I don't feel society (as a whole) is very mature.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
UberChic



Joined: 19 Jan 2007
Posts: 129
Location: Los Angeles, CA

PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 10:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Marriage is the only legal contract you sign and are bound to without even getting a chance to read your rights and obligations. That's insane!

All marriages should be accompanied by a document at least as large as what you sign to buy real estate. It involves your life, your children, your money....everything you have!

Why do we claim "love" as a valid excuse to be unclear about parternship rights and obligations? How utterly foolish.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    TimAllen.com Forum Index -> Men & Women -- Half a Mystery All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group

Theme xand created by spleen.